Why You Should Never Buy a Crumbl Cookie

Look, I’m all for enjoying treats. But you don’t need to spend your hard-earned money on total crap products, and Crumbl is the perfect example of why.

Crumbl Cookie Ingredients Are Trash

First up, the ingredients in these cookies are absolutely wild. Across their menu you’ll find things like titanium dioxide, bleached flour, corn syrup, propylene glycol, and artificial dyes. That’s not a cookie, that’s a chemistry experiment with frosting on top.

The Calories and Sugar Are Horrible Too

Then there’s the size of the thing. These cookies run anywhere from 630 to over 1,000 calories each, with 47 to 89 grams of sugar. Their Dubai chocolate brownie alone is 1,010 calories and 84 grams of sugar. You would have to eat 18 Oreos to equal the sugar in that one brownie.

To top it all off, they’ve been quietly pulling nutrition info from their website. How shady is that? If you can’t even check what’s in it before you buy it, that tells you all you need to know.

So skip it. Here are the swaps I actually love, and they’re just as fun.

Cookie Swaps You’ll Love

Shop ALL of my better-for-you cookie picks here. 

BAKR

If you want a warm cookie tonight with basically zero effort, grab break-and-bake dough at Target. BAKR makes a frozen brown butter chocolate chip dough (plus s’mores and caramel versions) that bakes up like a real bakery cookie. They’re also made with simple ingredients, no weird additives, and you’re not paying a premium for a thousand-calorie sugar bomb.

Sweet Loren’s

Sweet Loren’s is the other Target one I keep stocked — chocolate chunk, pumpkin spice, snickerdoodle, all gluten-free and vegan, and you just break, bake, and eat. Similarly, simple ingredients, real cookie taste, no sugar bomb.

The Gourmet Gift Tier

And if you’re looking for more of a gourmet cookie gift, this is where it gets good. Nowhere Bakery and Sweet Addison’s both ship nationwide in the US, and they’re made with real food ingredients. In fact, these are the ones you send to someone you actually like, or order for yourself when you want a treat that tastes amazing without the ingredient list reading like a warning label.

Shop Sweet Addison’s here

Nowhere Bakery is right here

And all my better-for-you cookie picks live here

That’s the whole point. So enjoy the treat, just don’t pay top dollar for the worst version of it.